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Interviewees Say the Darndest Things

Career Builder - Thu, 09/02/2010 - 11:00
 

You can always depend on young children to tell you exactly what they think, or precisely how they feel on any given topic. Want to know if your breath smells bad, if you should wear a different tie or if you really look fat in that outfit? Find a  5-year-old. He will give you an uncensored, honest answer.

Needless to say, we expect more from adults. Especially adults who are interviewing for a job.

For the second year in a row, we asked hiring managers everywhere to tell us the craziest thing they've ever heard in an interview. Keep reading for 37 hilarious (and true) statements from the job candidates:

1. "I interviewed a gentleman who looked great on paper but said two things during t....

American Voices: Menopause Meds May Harm Kids

The Onion - Thu, 09/02/2010 - 09:30
The Food and Drug Administration has warned that Evamist, a prescription spray used to control hot flashes in menopausal women, may cause premature breast development in children.


Opinion: Sorry, I'm Just Really Bad With Names And Faces Of People Who Are Not Attractive And Can't Help Advance My Career (by Michael Warner)

The Onion - Thu, 09/02/2010 - 09:00
Hi, how do you do? I'm Michael. Pleased to meet you. What? We've met three times before? Really! Well, how embarrassing.


Pentagon Ripped Off By Shady Weapons Dealer

The Onion - Thu, 09/02/2010 - 08:00
ARLINGTON, VA—Defense Secretary Robert Gates admitted losing $192 million in defense funds Tuesday when he unwittingly purchased a large number of bogus BGM-109 Tomahawk missiles from a disreputable arms dealer known only as "Steve." ...


8.4 Million New Yorkers Suddenly Realize New York City A Horrible Place To Live

The Onion - Thu, 09/02/2010 - 07:00
NEW YORK—At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having simultaneously realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.


[video] In Focus: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass To The South

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 11:15
Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.


Infographic: Original Kermit Donated To Smithsonian

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 10:30
Last week, Jane Henson, widow of Jim Henson, donated 10 Muppets to the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, including the original Kermit. Here are some of the other things donated to the museum in the past six months:


[video] Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation's Wealthiest Crystal Meth Dealer

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 09:30
Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.


[video] Police Capture Nation's Largest Crystal Meth Kingpin

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 09:30
Police invaded notorious meth dealer Daryl Krogen's home, seizing dozens of bicycle parts and more than ten dollars worth of stolen paint.


Department Of Just Saying: 'Been A While Since An Athlete Has Died During A Game'

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 08:30
WASHINGTON—In a report written in collaboration with the Bureau of Just Throwing It Out There, the Department of Just Saying noted Wednesday that it had been a good long while since an athlete had died on the field during a major sporting event.


Man Arriving Early To Party To Walk Up And Down Street For 10 Minutes

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 08:00
MEDFORD, MA—After arriving early for a coworker's party Friday evening and wishing to avoid an awkward entrance, 29-year-old Scott Harrington reportedly devised a plan to walk back and forth along the residential street for 10 additional minutes.


American Voices: Tongue Stud May Cause Tooth Gap

The Onion - Wed, 09/01/2010 - 07:30
A case study in the Journal Of Clinical Orthodontics showed that over a period of seven years, a young woman playing with her tongue stud inadvertently caused a gap to form between her front teeth.


[video] In Focus: New Portable Sewing Machine Lets Sweatshop Employees Work On The Go

The Onion - Tue, 08/31/2010 - 10:30
From our Bangladesh channel: The Smart Stitch is being hailed as a revolutionary garment factory that fits in the palm of your hand.


That's a Real Job?

Career Builder - Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:57
 

One of the many unfortunate effects of the Great Recession was felt by longtime professionals who found themselves looking for a job for the first time in decades. These skilled and experienced workers discovered that the job market was significantly different than it was 20 years ago, or in some cases, even just five years ago.

A shift in public demand can create new jobs or cause others to fade away. Technology also plays a significant role in the evolution of career opportunities, as some of today's jobs (think Internet security) couldn't have existed 40 years ago. The job industry has a natural give and take that permanently removes certain jobs and creates other. For instance, within the manufacturing....

7 Industries in Need of Workers Now

Career Builder - Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:56
 

Given the layoffs and unemployment woes that consistently make headlines, it may seem hard to believe that some industries are experiencing worker shortages. Yet despite a national unemployment rate that hovers near double digits, there are industries that are in need of well-trained, qualified employees.

According to CareerBuilder's 2010 Mid-Year Job Forecast:

· Twenty-two percent of employers reported that despite an abundant labor pool, they still have positions for which they can't find qualified candidates.

· Forty-eight percent of human resources managers reported that there was an area of their organization in which they lacked qualified workers.

· Health-care employers were th....

Your Horoscopes - Week Of August 31, 2010

The Onion - Tue, 08/31/2010 - 09:30
Aries Your daughter's memory will still haunt your dreams, but it's a welcome change from all the relived failures and sweaty former scoutmasters. Taurus Just when you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, the star...


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