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Bandai Recalls Lady Gaga

The Onion - 5 hours 37 min ago
News In Photos


Sports: 'She's Probably A Money-Hungry Liar,' Extremely Nervous Steelers Fans Report

The Onion - 6 hours 9 min ago
PITTSBURGH—In the wake of sexual assault allegations made against Ben Roethlisberger by a Georgia college student, nervous Steelers fans across the nation speculated that the supposed victim was most likely a conniving harpy...


In Focus: Bishop Sick Of Local Church Scene

The Onion - 6 hours 38 min ago
SACRAMENTO, CA—Bishop Robert K. Boland of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sacramento announced Monday that, although he remains a devoted servant of God and the Catholic Church, he has become tired of the same old church scene.


Authorities Investigating Suicide Determine Victim Really Went For It

The Onion - 10 hours 7 min ago
HAVERFORD, PA—Officials investigating the tragic suicide of local man Thomas Ingraham told reporters Tuesday they have determined that the...


Massa Insinuates He Was Forced Out

The Onion - 10 hours 39 min ago
After resigning amidst allegations of sexual harassment, former Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) told Larry King and Glenn Beck that he was targeted by the...


Sports: Stan Van Gundy Gives Players 'Dr. BBQ's Big-Time Barbecue Cookbook' To Read During Road Trip

The Onion - 11 hours 9 min ago
ORLANDO, FL—Continuing a tradition that stretches back to his early years with the Miami Heat, Magic head coach Stan Van Gundy routinely presents his players with classic barbecue cookbooks to inspire them and provide insights during road trips.


Our 'NCIS' Spec Script Issue

The Onion - 11 hours 39 min ago


[audio] Sea-Going Turtle Under Fire For Egg Abandonment

The Onion - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 18:30
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland


Job Search Myths

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 15:52
 

Myths that people believe about looking for a job are many and persistent. The most common ones are these:  

Myth #1: A résumé should be only one page.

Absolutely not! The normal length of a résumé is two to three pages (at most). It is fine to have addendum pages such as a list of references or published articles. A one-page résumé is only appropriate for a recent college grad. 

Myth #2: If you go on an interview through a contingency or search firm, you cannot speak directly to the person who interviewed you after the interview.

The person who interviewed you is either a decision-maker or an influencer in the hiring process. Ask him during the interview if he minds if you contac....

Asking For -- and Maximizing -- the Informational Interview

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 15:09
 

Do all the employees at your dream company have an MBA? What is a typical day like in a big-city newsroom? What types of questions might someone be asked when interviewing for a position in the health-care industry? 

If you've got questions about a career, an informational interview might be your ticket to answers. 

"An informational interview can help you better understand a career, industry, company, organization or specific position you are potentially interested in by finding out what really goes on behind the scenes versus what you've heard or what you imagine," says Debra Condren, author of "Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word," a career guide for women. "Having a more accurate picture will help you decide i....

Success Stories: I Found a Job after Long-Term Unemployment

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 15:05
 

Headline after headline about corporate downsizing and businesses folding can leave you wondering: Is anybody out there actually finding a job? 

Yes (though oftentimes not very quickly). Here are three real-life success stories of people who persevered through prolonged unemployment before landing a new position. 

Volunteer work leads to paid position
"During unemployment, I became extremely hard on myself, questioning what was wrong with me as a job candidate that would cause my searching to be so fruitless," says Margaret White of New York City, who encountered a not-very-welcoming job market after leaving school in 2008. "I also felt enormously guilty that I was a burden on ....

5 Tips for Job Hunting in the Twittersphere

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 14:53
 

Gaining a great deal of support from career industry professionals, recruiters and human resource specialists worldwide, Twitter is revolutionizing how people hunt for jobs in today's economy.

How? Susan Britton Whitcomb, co-author of "The Twitter Job Search Guide," explains: "In the past, you had to go through a maze of gatekeepers to get to the cloistered person in charge of hiring decisions. Now you can have access to them with the click of a Follow button. The ability to level the playing field -- placing you nearly peer-to-peer with influencers, leaders and hiring authorities -- is extremely powerful."

And that's not all. "Using Twitter you can find insight, encouragement, connections, job leads and co....

Why You Should Consider a Job With the Federal Government

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 14:17
 

As the economy continues to recover and we see more encouraging news regarding employment -- inevitably, people start thinking about finding new work. According to findings from the 2009 Kelly Global Work force Index, 40 percent of employees across the United States intend to look for another job within the next year, including as many as 62 percent of workers from Generation X (ages 30-47).

Their reasons for moving on vary -- ranging from personal preference, to better personal reward or compensation, or simply because new opportunities came available. What motivates you most when you're ready to find a new job? Rank these in order of importance:

a) Personal preference for one working envi....

When Getting a Paycheck Means Taking a Pay Cut

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 14:13
 

All the stars are aligning. You've been offered a great opportunity, maybe even your dream job: the company you've admired, top-notch staff, terrific benefits, ideal location.  You've aced the interview, and you know you'd be a perfect fit.  What more could you ask for?

Maybe that's the wrong question.  Maybe you should be asking, what less would you be willing to take?

A 2009 CNN Money report says, "With more than three job seekers for every opening, more workers are having to take significant pay cuts to find employment."

Many are out of work through no fault of their own and can't afford to wait for the dream job to open.  Others discover the jobs....

Should You Try to Look Younger for Your Job Search?

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 13:58
 

Age discrimination. Ask any baby boomer who's been job hunting for several months and they'll likely tell you a personal horror story. Although the practice is illegal, many over-40 job hunters report that an employer was excited about them as a candidate until they met in person, and then once employer saw they were older, the employers seemed to immediately change their minds leaving the older candidate with the sneaking suspicion that their age had everything to do with not getting hired.

Can age discrimination be hampering your job search?  According to the survey results of hiring managers (conducted and published in my new book "Over 40 & You're Hired")....

10 Industries to Watch

Career Builder - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 13:53
 

The economy's current state might be better than it was in the tail end of 2008, but it definitely has room for improvement. The unemployment rate cracked 10 percent and companies continue to cut jobs. People want to find jobs now, and understandably so.

The march toward recovery is frustratingly slow, however, which means job seekers who are looking for work today also need to keep an eye on the future. Industries that aren't thriving today will bounce back and grow in the coming years. Therefore, you can job hunt now and still work toward your long-term career goals.

Where the jobs are now
In his new book, "Where the Jobs Are Now," Joe Watson looks at the industries that are hiring right now....

Man On Internet Almost Falls Into World Of DIY Mustard Enthusiasts

The Onion - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 12:00
DES MOINES, IA—Only when Steve Gibson started getting enraged by mustard-related issues did he realize he had become entangled in a dense, thickening web of mustard obsession. "I saw my wife put French's mustard on a bologna sandwich and I just lost control," he said.


In Focus: Nation To Be Tested For Scoliosis Friday

The Onion - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 10:46
WASHINGTON, DC--In a mandatory, nationwide health initiative many Americans are dreading, all U.S. citizens will be tested for scoliosis Friday.


Opinion: I Didn't Spend 6 Weeks In A Medical License Reinstatement Ethics Class To Have You Call Me 'Mister' (by Dr. Trent Berstyn)

The Onion - Thu, 03/11/2010 - 09:00
It's tragic how people treat doctors in this day and age. The lack of respect for the education and training medical professionals go through,...


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